Brenda Power’s Take on my Sexuality

Okay before people start reading this blog, I want to make it absolutely clear that I completely disagree with Brenda Power on her anti-gay marriage and adoption stance. People who know me are fully clued into how I want to marry who ever I fall in love with in the future and adopt with him. As a gay man, I was upset at Brenda’s article last August but I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Now, getting onto the knitty-gritty purpose of writing this blog. People still wonder in the modern 21st Century why being gay is still such a taboo subject to some people. As a gay person, my honest answer is that I have no idea. Homophobia is absolutely stupid and only idiots engage in such foolishness!!!…Similar to racism, mental health stigma, disability stigma and so on,I loathe homophobia!!!

Now the reason why I’m referring to Brenda’s article (that was published last August before the LGBT Noise Marriage Equality Protest which I was proud to be involved in) is because I read her interview online with the GCN website and thought I might share my thoughts on it.

While I read through it and found myself disagreeing with a conservative women (surprise surprise there), I actually realised she made a point that represented my mindset…SHOCK HORROR!!!…how can this be???…Well I will tell you, Brenda’s viewpoint of the gay scene is that we all run around leaving are bums out to be seen, dress up in all sorts of frocks and worship Panti. Now, yes this is clearly ridiculous as I don’t engage in such actions (except I do worship Panti lol!!! ). However, I think she was trying to make the point that someone who realises they are gay looks at an event like Pride for the first time and says is this what being gay is about??….Of course I have loved partaking in Pride celebrations each year but it seems that some members of the gay community don’t and that is understandable because they may feel it does not represent them. To be honest with you, I’m kind of leaning towards  the latter now as I realise its a statement of me being gay and I’m now kind of realising….okay everyone knows that now!!!

However, I will continue to take part in the Pride parades to represent gay youth groups and marriage protesters because I believe that is my main concern.However, I turned 18 last September and went out onto the “scene” for the first time. Being honest, I didn’t like it. Now, people give me awful stick for not wanting to drink and call me narrow-minded for not doing so.People also give me stick because I want to keep myself free of sex till I meet the right guy. Whenever I’m seen, people say to me I’m conservative, i’m narrow-minded and opinionated.This all happens on the scene and sometimes elsewhere.

Now, yes I am opinionated, and I make no apologies for that but one thing I’m not is conservative or narrow-minded, so I don’t know where people got that opinon from. I’m actually a member of Sinn Féin here in Ireland and a supporter of the Liberal Democrats in the UK a so just because I’m strict on  myself when it comes to sex and alcohol doesnt mean I’m telling other people how to live. So I’m basically telling the people who constantly taunt me about this to BACK OFF!!!…They know who they are, and one has apologised so I’m not going to make a big deal about that.

Anyway, my whole point comes down to peer pressure, which I think Brenda Power was referring to in her interview with the GCN when she said that sometimes, gay young people don’t have the best of role models. I find myself partially agreeing with Brenda when she says that because if you are an LGBT teenager who does not have access to a youth group or some sort of support due to living in a rural area or being too afraid to come out at home,chances are the world is a lonely place. Usually (not always) when these teenagers end up going to college the first thing they usually are curious about is the “scene”…and end up going out one night and realise that its about hanky spanky and alcohol consumption. Now, obviously the straight scene is probably like this too but the benefit for being straight in this case is that you don’t have to come out as straight…you don’t have the worry of telling ur parents, family and friends a secret because you are in essence assumed straight and usually you don’t have to lie about where you are going!!…Although, I do know that peer pressure and the like go on at straight clubs aswell. However if your gay and you go onto the scene knowing nobody,it is a lonely place. I can’t speak for straight clubs since I’m gay so if anybody wants to post a comment about it, please do :-). Once again I will state the “scene” is not for me and that is me only….I’m NOT saying that its the case for everybody because it’s clearly not!!

This takes me on to my next point. Where does true love derive from? Does it derive from constant sex with random people….NO!!…does it derive from looking at someone’s bum….NO!!!…True love comes from the heart as I see it. Taking walks with the man I love… going to the cinema with the man I love… holding hands with the man I love… cuddling the man I love… crying with the man I love… laughing with the man I love. These are all things I would hold dear in a relationship and yes…sex is the ultimate expression of love…and its beautiful….but personally I woudln’t be thinking of rumpy-pumpy with a partner if he was telling me something that made him upset during the day or about an argument he was having with the family etc….Id be thinking about talking to him about his problems and telling him I’d always will be there for him…not saying do u want to have sex now?

For some reason, ignorant people see being gay as a sexual lifestyle choice…could someone please show me evidence of how its a choice if a straight person doesn’t choose??…A gay or straight person can choose how and when to have sex….but they can’t choose who they fall in love with. One’s sexuality is completely different to the frequency of their sex life. Then again this is just my opinion. I think love is love, no matter what the gender is, but for me personally, I will keep the special occasion for the man I fall in love with in the future (assuming someone will fall in love with me lol!!!). Once again, I’m stating my opinion for my personal self, just in case people want to make the comment about me being narrow-minded again. Everybody has there own life, so live it and let me live mine. (Bear in mind I’m only referring to a few people who are calling me narrow-minded, not everyone who is reading this blog!!)

I know this has ended up being somewhat of a strange- sequenced blog but I also wanted to say how proud I was to see Growing Up Gay on RTÉ. All the participants were really brave and hopefully they have helped changed society’s views on LGBT 🙂

One final point…As a liberal, I believe in free speech. I believe Brenda Power was quite entitled to state her opinion about her anti-gay marriage and adoption stance, although I do not agree with her. However, looking back on it, I think some of us reacted in a horrible way to her article which obviously wasn’t pleasing to the eye itself…Who knows, maybe she was just trying to stir a reaction up….maybe she was just stating her opinion….. but some of the comments she received were not nice and to be honest were completely going off the point of the argument. Yes, she did make a nasty comment about Panti and yes we were entitled to react to this among other issues…but questioning her parenting skills and posting Youtube videos about stabbing her with high heels was a rather vicious reaction I think..and this rather upset me. I don’t believe you can stop free speech by silencing it…we should use it to our advantage next time someone writes an article with assumptions about the gay community and  not jump into a hate-speech match  when we  could have a well-constructed debate…and will show the inequality us LGBT people face without saying I HATE YOU. Brenda was just stating an opinion and we missed our chance of capitalising on it…that is just my opinion.

Obviously I want to marry and adopt in the future, but rather than constantly brand Brenda Power as a villain, I would like to show ye an article that the Atheist Ian O’ Doherty wrote about us in the Irish Independent a few weeks back. It is in the first paragraph of the article which I will post here:http://www.eoinbutler.com/home/is-this-the-most-homophobic-article-youve-ever-read-or-what/…this in my opinion is a much more disturbing article to read than Brenda’s ever was, and I can’t believe there was no reaction or uproar to this (except one letter of complaint) ….remember this guy is an Atheist!!! Also, here is the Brenda Power interview with the GCN recently if you have not read it yet -:):http://www.gcn.ie/Complete_Power

Remember: Love is love no matter the gender.

Thanks for reading,

Gregg . x x x x x

5 Responses to “Brenda Power’s Take on my Sexuality”

  1. amie p Says:

    well wrote xxxx

  2. greggors Says:

    Thanks amie p 😀 xxx

  3. J28 Says:

    I enjoyed reading your post. I quite like the scene thusfar…I’ve found the community to be very welcoming, diverse and supportive but I’m nearly 29 so quite likely to tire of pubs and clubs (or one would hope I would…loving it thusfar but it’s hard on my pockets). To be honest I’d rather get more exercise. I have found the sports groups to be excellent.

    You should definitely try outinireland.net (they have squash, tennis, rowing and badminton.

    There’s also the Front Runners and the hiking group (gay-hiking.org). Then there’s the choir (Gloria) and gay political or activists groups, volunteer or join Belongto? Marriage Equality or Noise? I’m thinking of getting involved in LGBT Labour.

    For women there’s the Dublin LGBT Social Networking Club (Running Amach). I’ve been to Gay and Lesbian equivalents in London. Basically, you just set one up on Meetup.com. Then any member can host and event, whether it’s cinema, bowling, surfing, walks, nights out, book clubs etc. There’s no limit to what can be done provided you find a few others to join.

    I’d really recommend you set one up for men or for men and women. The women’s one has 450 members and it’s only been up since January or so. It’s a great way to socialise without necessarily always heading to the pub. You should sign in to Meetup.com and get some ideas from other LGBT groups around the world.

  4. J28 Says:

    Sorry I realise I sound preachy. My apologies I’m not at all like that. I’m just a big believer in getting involved and I’d love to see a men’s equivalent to running amach.

  5. greggors Says:

    Heyya J28 :-)..I’m sorry about the long delay in replying to your comment..I realise it’s nearly been a month now lol!!!…I was just up-the-walls so my sincere apologies!!!

    You are not at all preachy my friend…I actually am a big believer in getting involved myself!!!…I am a big advocate of human rights and I am so involved in activism dat I’m told to take it easy half the time 😛

    I agree with you that the community is very supportive but in my opinion, it depends on who one hangs around with and as you point out, how one gets involved. I am involved in Unite…an LGB youth group down here in Cork and I’m going to join Belong2 when I move to Dublin later this year!!! 🙂

    I agree with you about sports…I’m actually a soccer and tennis fanatic lol…I think there is a growing demand for sports among the LGBT population in Ireland, which is always a good thing :)…

    Have you decided on whether you are going to join Labour LGBT or not??

    Thanks for all the social networking and different group advice that you gave me…it will certainly come in handy when I move to Dublin lol!!!

    The point that I was making about the scene is that night clubs etc. create a sense of an in-your-face kind of attitude…that is just my opinion though…Like, for instance, in an LGBT Pride Parade…when there is a float entirely dedicated to a gay bar blocking out the float of a youth group if you get what I mean??

    Thanks for reading and commenting on my blog by the way :-).

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